do ya'know I forgot to post this like 3 weeks ago....OHWELL!

I really really want to write this long post about something I've been mulling over for several weeks, the time period over which I have been unable to write, but I don't really feel like writing right now and I think that with the thing that I want to talk about I have to be...into it. I suppose having read that you will wonder, why is she procrastinating on writing about it, but I'd rather deliver it later than deliver it poorly. Man, I sound like I care! Haha, I do.





So, yeah, now that I've provoked wondering in your mind I will move on to why exactly I haven't been writing.





I've been busy. Originally it was with cramming school work that should have been completed months ago but never got finished, and once that was over after about a 10 minute break I was swept into the best week of my life. Everton VBS. A week where I was helping others, but it didn't feel like it, and at the end I came out with exactly what I needed going into it. The 'housing' was amazing, the food was amazing, the VBS was amazing(ly smooth running), and most of all the people were amazing. It was a week with a full roster and though I knew some of the girls (Jo, Lara, Sarah and the rest of the Pypker family) I was rather nervous about meeting the others. At least I thought there would be others. Turns out I was right. Leah, Robyn, and Jenna from Golden Woods...Sarah's barn. They arrived soon after I did and though as we took all our stuff downstairs there was a somewhat awkward silence we soon started talking and by Saturday's dinner were sufficiently acquainted to base a bigger friendship...I guess that sounds kind of technical but saying it simply would be we started talking and soon I soon decided that they were all pretty cool. Anyways, Sunday morning to our chagrin Jenna, Leah and I realized that in our enthusiasm to pack for the week had overlooked Sunday clothes. At least we all wore jeans. It did feel funny though. Sunday evening Evonne, Sarah's cousin arrived. Getting to know her was harder because she disappeared with Anna and nearly always stuck right by Sarah and wouldn't talk so much about herself. I really forget whether Lara arrived that evening or in the morning....but Robyn arrived that evening and Jo arrived on Monday morning. Eventually our crew arrived and according to my observations soon became extremely tight. It was actually pretty awesome because we would all walk to the church together every morning and then we would split up in crew leaders, techies, dramatic assistance, and snack monitors. We were apart but we were still working together. After the VBS day was over we would all walk back and then just hang out for the rest of the day.





I think my favourite hangout day was Tuesday when we went swimming and Leah started doing song actions under the water...which amused me greatly. The rest of the week was a brilliant yet typically unrecorded blur of happiness and fun.





By the end of the hangout afternoon(s) and evening(s) I had watched: Pirates of the Caribbean 1, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, The Holiday, and A Series of Unfortunate Events. An eclectic


Also while the other girls danced to the actions DVD I video taped. It was a thing of the moment and I didn't know how much I would love it now to sit back and laugh at them as they made funny faces at me and over exaggerated the moves.


VBS ended Friday afternoon and was followed by a hotdog lunch. After that Jo had to scoot pronto but the rest of us went to the park with Richard and Jordan. It was an interesting time, mostly because it wasn't a specified, per organised action. Interesting as in good though. Most of the girls left later that (Friday) evening and Lara left Saturday morning but due to my father's stay in China and Kathleen's recent surgery I was left until Sunday evening.



Saturday morning Sarah was at the barn working early so I stayed 'home' and cleaned up the basement room and then vacuumed and folded laundry for a bit and then went downstairs and hung out. About lunch time Bekah called and told us about a Jacob Moon concert happening that night, everyone decided to go and Sarah was assumed attendance. The only catch was that when Sarah got home at the end of her work day at the barn she was tired and slightly pessimistic about the horseshow the next day (Sunday).

It was Anna's first show and boy oh boy she schooled in her first two classes! 1st & 2nd followed by 6th in equitation trotting poles. :D. Very good, very good indeed.
Sarah's classes started at 11:30 so Anna was done and Em, Anna, and I watched Sarah as she worked out some hacking classes on Danny, and than competed in a little jumping on Music (who was a grand ole feller and didn't refuse them!). In total Sarah competed in 7 classes and revceived a, 1st, 2nd, 2nd, 2nd, 4th, 5th & 6th. And then got a Reserve Champion ribbon! I know that you're not supposed to boast, plus its annoying, but I'm doing it for Sarah, cause I'm proud of her, and I hope this somehow gets to her.

Late that afternoon we returned home (the Pypker's....home #2, anywaysss....) to a snack of (the best) Greek salad (in the world). After we hung out a bit (attempting to hang a new yarn line on her wall to accomodate her ever growing ribbon collection) until my momma and my sista decided to arrive to pick me up. After which we enjoyed a delicious supper of belgian waffles slathered in both brown sugar and syrup ( Mr. Pypker style ;D). It was a slighting sad ending to my stay with the Pypker's as I gathered together my belongings and headed home. It was SO quiet without 7 girls being everywhere at once and I found that I missed being able to talk to a variety of people throughout the day and enjoy special memories with them. Twas sad. Though I shall live as I have connected to my Everton VBS buddie's through e-mail and facebook and look forward to attending their jointed barn's next show.

So I changed my font in order to differentiate between the two bits of writing. I'm going to post this now....I must have forgotten to post it when I wrote it nearly 3 weeks ago. Cherrio!

thoughts..

Holding my breath for the end of this storm, oh God, please carry me through.
.
.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same...
.
.
I give you my destiny,
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony,
Singing in all that I am,
At the top of my lungs,
I'm giving it back...
.
.
Back to black and white reality, you still have to watch what you say...
.
.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.
.
.
Would you be my life-line, please, its all I've got left...



I like italics. ( and friends who take the time to talk. :) )

Totally pumped!

Oh my goodness.
I CANNOT wait.

July 7th-13th
Thats in....16 days!

In other interesting news...Rachie is working extremely hard, and following suit (with Keith) will not be on msn or other internet applications such as facebook, myspace, or facebox (Rachie's Twist...) very frequently. I will be checking email and prehaps blogging. Otherwise you can call me.

Now considering in my hand, at this moment, I am holding a time bomb then I shall be off.

**Once my rush of things to do is essentially over I will be blogging...more often...or more useful subjects.**

3x

We pulled it off.
And, I had an amazing night.

Man, I love you guys! Teaching me like random skills like handlebar riding. Practically reading the "Motherly Instinct: People With Eyes Closed Crossing Monkey-bars. (The Manual)". Pretty much the entire evening was like so much fun for me. lol.

I don't really know what else to say, cause really it was totally worth it.
Three cheers for my, now, 16 year old sister!
Woot! Woot! Woot!

You see, when One only has one sibling and all the One's friends have multiple, that One's one sibling must be 3 siblings packed into one unit, and therefore is the score of 3 times the fun, 3 times the laughs, 3 times the love, etc.

On that note I shall be off.

A very tired Rachie.
(Who is almost sick of cake! :O)

one lonely set of foot prints

time is sifting off her hands

like beach sand through her fingers

foot steps imprinted, mark her road

while she walks a path where no memories linger

the terrain is bare and bleak

and she doesn't know where she is

yet she knows what she goes to seek

.

.

tears trickle down a weather worn face

as she trudges through

running yet another painful race

not living, just barely existing

all she knows is shes going on

.

.

She thinks what shes doing

will take her far away

from everything she used to love

unyet she'll never go far enough

to blot out the memories

and the pain they cause

of a family she decided to leave

.

.

She still blundering on

with a spark of hope in her heart

but the truth is she lost her real map long ago

one lonely set of foot prints

leading a trail through untread territory

.

.

You see people everyday. But you don't know what they're like. Sometimes I wish I could become that person for a day. Or become one of their family, or closest friends just to see who they really are. Some of them are so much themselves you don't even wonder about them until you talk to them for a while and learn about them, their lifestlyes and their favourite things to do.

.

.

.

.

Some of them their history is all that makes everything different. Some of them wish they'd never done things like that. Some haven't seen they're wrong yet. Some of them know but don't want to acknowledge it. Some of them don't want to admit it.

.

.

Some are so stubborn it just makes me want to throttle them. I guess then I'd be throttling myself though.

anticipation

an·tic·i·pa·tion /ænˌtɪsəˈpeɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[an-tis-uh-pey-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. the act of anticipating or the state of being anticipated.
2. realization in advance; foretaste.
3. expectation or hope.
4. previous notion; slight previous impression.
5. intuition, foreknowledge, or prescience.
6. Law. a premature withdrawal or assignment of money from a trust estate.
7. Music. a tone introduced in advance of its harmony so that it sounds against the preceding chord.

an·tic·i·pa·tion (ān-tĭs'ə-pā'shən) Pronunciation Key n.
The act of anticipating.
An expectation.
Foreknowledge, intuition, and presentiment.
The use or assignment of funds, especially from a trust fund, before they are legitimately available for use.

anticipation
noun
1. an expectation
2. something expected (as on the basis of a norm); "each of them had their own anticipations"; "an indicator of expectancy in development"
3. the act of predicting (as by reasoning about the future) [syn: prediction]
4. anticipating with confidence of fulfillment


Anticipation.
For so many things.

Anticipation

How beautiful the earth is still,
To thee--how full of happiness?
How little fraught with real ill,
Or unreal phantoms of distress!
How spring can bring thee glory,
yet,And summer win thee to forget
December's sullen time!
Why dost thou hold the treasure fast,
Of youth's delight,
when youth is past,
And thou art near thy prime?

When those who were thy own compeers,
Equals in fortune and in years,
Have seen their morning melt in tears,
To clouded, smileless day; Blest,
had they died untried and young,
Before their hearts went wandering wrong,
--Poor slaves,
subdued by passions strong,
A weak and helpless prey!

'Because, I hoped while they enjoyed,
And by fulfilment, hope destroyed;
As children hope, with trustful breast,
I waited bliss--and cherished rest.
A thoughtful spirit taught me soon,
That we must long till life be done;
That every phase of earthly joy
Must always fade, and always cloy:

'This I foresaw--and would not chase
The fleeting treacheries;
But, with firm foot and tranquil face,
Held backward from that tempting race,
Gazed o'er the sands the waves efface,
To the enduring seas
--There cast my anchor of desire
Deep in unknown eternity;
Nor ever let my spirit tire,
With looking for WHAT IS TO BE!

"It is hope's spell that glorifies,
Like youth, to my maturer eyes,
All Nature's million mysteries,
The fearful and the fair
--Hope soothes me in the griefs I know;
She lulls my pain for others' woe,
And makes me strong to undergo
What I am born to bear.

Glad comforter! will I not brave,
Unawed, the darkness of the grave?
Nay, smile to hear Death's billows rave
--Sustained, my guide, by thee?
The more unjust seems present fate,
The more my spirit swells elate,
Strong, in thy strength, to anticipate
Rewarding destiny!

Yesterday I returned to a theatre I had been to perform at previously. As soon as I stepped through the doors I felt something was wrong and though I fought hard to escape what could be called a virtual mind cage, I couldn't. It was as though I was under attack. Things happened one after another that ripped my day to shreds for me. Anger resulting in sarcasim and regretful words were prominent. Familiar things haunted by something like seeing a dream played out. Infact the entire day seemed to be a dream. A bad one at most times aswell. Its like blundering about in a maze shrouded in heavy fog.

I really don't like what happened yesterday, and if I've any specific people, I'm really sorry.
Next drama I want to be like I wanted to be yesterday, free and enjoying the entire process. Instead I'm pretty sure I was a major party pooper. Yuck.

I'm really sorry.