to put into words exactly how I'm feeling would a long and complicated process.

OCHEC was the usual.
The strange gap that showed itself every so often as groups split, and gained people, and dissolved. I made a new friend, and not with the premeditated intention of doing so either. I just happened to meet some cool people.
The Sessions that were good, but long.
The food court food that drives me crazy.
And the Sheraton's new pillow topped mattresses.
The overall affect?
I had a good time, I could have been good with a little more patience towards some particularly flirtatious parties, but it was fun.

This week is the short time in which I try desperating to sleep a lot and get a lot done at the same time, whilst finishing up AOC preperations with my mother.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday is AOC. I'm so extremely excited my mind is dancing. See, I don't dance, and well, considering I can't even figure out if I want a carrot or not, or which band to pursue at this time, than I think that justifies my mind-dance. :)

Then Drama week. *sigh*

fun story:
I wrote on my friend's wall with crayon.
It was incredibly fun. :)(L)

excited!

I haven't been this excited, since, like, the Canoe Trip or something.



AOC!



I finished designing the nametags this morning, after which I promptly was set to filling in everybody's info. A long job, and somewhat challenging due to the different formating and pieces that have to mesh just right so the print makes it look nice in stead of jumbled and fun. I have to print out a test sheet. Which happened to include my name, and I was like jumping up and down as it came out the printer, it was PERFECT. And the best part of this excitement? This is only the beginning of it!





Another thing I'm pretty happy for is the fact that the main bit of co-op and choir are over, it's not that I don't like those things (socially, of course), but the homework/practicing was getting to cause a bit of an overload. Actually a lot of one. Oh well!

dodododododododod

If you were at the New Years party I was at, than you will know what I mean when I say I'm still making headway with relationships. Sure, if you payed me to burn bridges I'd be a millionare, but I'm rather happy to say that most of the bridges burnt, (were done so in ignorance and misunderstanding, and) are repaired, or being repaired.

One more thing,

I just want to take a minute to shout out the Keith. Monday wasn't exactly the most easy day, sure it was overall fun, but geez there was a lot of drama. I needed a hug, and well, lets just say Keith is pretty awesome at giving hugs, and somehow, extra good ones just when you need them. So yeah, Keith, thanks for making me cry, it made me let go a little (even if you didn't see me cry), I love you, thank you for being my incredible friend. :)

and I'll be running..

..when the sand runs out...

Its weird how I didn't seem to realize before that one day people would walk out of my life, and into another stage of theirs. Perhaps a staircase to another level where we will meet again, perhaps a hall that leads them away, not to return.

time.

life.

preparation.

death.

eternity.

rather preparation for eternity is the form of life.

.

.

~

.

.

I hate the feeling of being suffocated by a smell. Usually an unpleasant smell. How odd that came up. It could have to do with the broken down old car nextdoor that they still try to drive. hmm.

.

.

~

.

.

Hot.

Spring.

Growing.

Summer.

Campfire!

Soon enough, I suppose. :)

Anthem of the Outdoors

I saw my first firefly today.
Just a wandering spark in a grey-blue sky.
I could hear the crickets.
Whether it was my imagination or not, I haven't decided yet.
The jiggled of dog tags coupled with the clicking of their nails on the sidewalk.
The busy hum of some summer-wishing people as they gather around a spitting barbecue.

The sounds that say come out. Stop working. Come out and breathe. Breathe the noises, and the sights and smells. The little croci buds peeping through the earth. The earliest of tulips poking their heads through their clustered leaves.

You know, I used to say having just summer and winter would be cool with me. But spring is pretty awesome. All the anticipation, and fresh, growing things. And fall, well, without fall I wouldn't be here, so I suppose I'll have to learn to appreciate fall. :)

I have to finish my art project,

goodnight!

shut it out

I have nothing you need, just a lot to hide
So why am I still here with You by my side

All I do is mess up, do the wrong thing

Instead of shining light, darkness shines through me

Don't wanna talk about it, just wanna shut it out

I'm not as bad as you think, the things I do are right

At least that's what I say, try to tell myself

Got it under control, I don't need your help

Try to do the right thing, end up doing it wrong

Don't deserve this life or even write this song

More I think of you, less I think of myself

Lord, increase Your light and shadow me out

Tell me it's out of love... why can't you see

Tell me it's out of love... it's You, not me

So with the mind, I myself serve the law of Him

But with the flesh of my bone, serve the law of sin

O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me

From this body of death pulling from His tree

I wanna talk about it, don't wanna shut it out

I am as bad as you think, the things I do aren't right

At least that's what I say, try to tell myself

You got it under control, Lord I need Your help

:(

Wenn mein Blockschloß fällt, ist Gott dort, mich anzuheben wieder.










:)

thoughts? I haven't decided yet.

Its April 1st. There's 16 minutes left until the joke's on them.
I just might make it out prank free.

So AOC is getting pretty big. We have almost 90 participants registered so far. That's 20 more than last year's meager 70. 70 people isn't bad, but when our limit is 100 its a bit of a let down.

I printed, filled out, and sent out my Campfire! registration today. I'm pretty pumped for it. Brittni tells me its amazing. And Kathleen, Sarah and Nikki second that, so I'm thinking I have it on good authority that it'll be worth my time, etc. Sami and Lia and maybe Timon (sp?) are supposed to be coming the same week. Teenweek 1. Fun stuff. :)

Its funny, I'm planning all these things, and I actually have to plan them super carefully, cause I have work, and conflicting obligations. It definitely wasn't this way last year. Cheers to meeting new people, making new friends, and getting tighter with the old people.

I have an ART project I have to do. I'm not sure when it's due, but I'm plotting to have it done by this Thursday so then my teacher can't tell me she doesn't like my idea and make me change up my sketches again. I suppose it is a rather flawed plan, but hey, if she wants me to redo it then I'll have one I like, and one she likes!

I did a sort of gig on Friday. At Sweets'n'Suites. Christy and did an acoustic cover of Pressure by Paramore. Which was pretty awesome. But especially her singing. I almost dropped my guitar twice cause I forgot to tighten it up before we went on, but she kept singing which was brilliant, and so I've been told, made it less noticeable. :P Next time the strap will be tighter and I'll keep going. lol. I think I like next times. More like having a second chance to do something over better. Anyway, it wasn't at all crappy, cause Christy totally covered!

Shout out to Christy, thanks for being chillax with my insaneness, I love you.

Another thing that's happening is I've given up MSN/Instant Messaging, Facebook, and Music/my ipod(s) from March 29th to April 27th. Its like a 30 day famine from those things. With the 30 hour (food) famine smack dab in the middle. (ps. if you want to sponsor me, I'd love you forever. Kay, so, if you know where my blog is, and who I am, then I already love you, and you're likely doing the famine yourself, so in either of those cases ignore this, or still be nice and sponsor me. Even a couple bucks helps a kid without water, now that's a good cause for your pocket change!) Right, so about this 30 day thing...the reason? Things were falling apart, and a few of those things were eating time that should have been being used to keep on top of school/life/everything. As a side note though, while you're around me don't feel obligated not to listen to music, I still like it, and if I'm with you its usually because I am somewhere doing some (ie. driving, at choir/co-op/youth group/church or w.e) its the music within my personal time and choice that I'm cutting down (not out). So I'm still playing guitar, and I have a couple CDs, like Lara's! :)

Kay, so I'm going to go try to do a final hash out of my art project, which I might post pictures of. Might. Eventually. haha

bye!